I Want To Do It By Myself!

On Monday, I took the children swimming. They love the water, and Charlotte has no fear. She wanted to come off the step, fully into the water with me. So I swept her up and held her so she could “swim” a bit. For a time, she was content with that, but then she started thrashing around demanding that I let go so she could do it by herself. I patiently explained that I couldn’t let go, because she isn’t good enough at swimming yet, but she didn’t want to listen.

Today I went to Confession and Adoration at my parish. After Confession, when I was kneeling before Jesus in the Eucharist, Charlotte’s demand to be let go so she could do it herself came back to me. I go to God and confess to Him, I accept His grace and acknowledge that I cannot do it myself, but then at some point, I try to take control again. I am like Charlotte: thrashing around trying to get free and saying I can do it myself, when God is telling me that I can’t, that I need His grace so I don’t sink. I know that it is only through His grace that I am freed from sin, but it doesn’t always stop me from trying to take control. I thank God for giving me this reminder today, and I thank Him for giving His grace through the Sacraments as He does. I cannot thank Him enough.


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