Happy 6th day of Christmas! Check out the full carnival at RAnn’s. My posts this week:
Today is the feast of the Holy Family. The Bishop celebrated the vigil Mass last night, and since my husband sang at that Mass, I decided to go to that one instead of our usual Sunday morning Mass.
Mass was, of course, beautiful and holy. Given the feast day and the fact that our Bishop is very welcoming of families and breastfeeding mums, I wasn’t at all nervous about Leo’s screaming in pain, then feeding and cooing.
Our Bishop spoke of the importance of the family and how all aspects of family life should be supported and encouraged by the parish. He quoted Pope Bl. John Paul II on that, too. What struck me the most, though, was him talking about Jesus’ hidden life of obedience to his Mother and foster father, a life wherein He preached the Gospel simply by living family life. We don’t have to go to the ends of the earth to live and preach the Gospel, but should be doing this in our own families (of course some are called to be missionaries, like St Paul, but most are called to live the Gospel in a more ordinary way). This is something good for me to remember as a mother. And I ask Jesus to help us live as we should, leading each other to holiness, and I ask Mary and Joseph to pray for us.
I’ve not been able to do as much craft-wise since Leo’s birth. His digestive issues mean that he wants me to hold him most of the time. While I love the cuddles, it does make it difficult to knit or sew. Nevertheless, I have been able to work a little of late. I’ve been using the newer knitting machine for the plain bits of Kieran’s backpack. The machine is broken, so I have to feed the yarn by hand, but for this project it’s ok.
The robot parts have all been knit separately by hand, to give a 3D effect. I sewed it on upside-down at first, unfortunately.
You find yourself analyzing Christmas carols and critiquing them for their views of children. Take “Away in a Manger”, for example:
Although we normally attend the morning Mass on Christmas Day, this year we attended the earlier vigil so we could all go together (my husband was singing at the midnight Mass and thus wouldn’t feel up to going to a morning Mass, and I didn’t think I could handle all three on my own for the midnight Mass). The parish was absolutely packed, but because of friends we were still able to sit in the front. It was a beautiful Mass full of chanting (in English) and incense, and music from the children’s choir.
The entrance hymn was “O Come, All Ye Faithful”, a song I know quite well. I quelled my urge to sing it in Latin and think of Bing Crosby, instead allowing myself to just focus on the moment and the lyrics. At the refrain, I was given a great gift. I nearly wept for joy at the thought of being able to adore Jesus, and I could barely take my eyes off the Tabernacle, where He dwells for love of us. That he humbles Himself to appear before us in a lowly manner, just as He also came as a lowly infant, and does this just to be near us – it amazes me! While I know this all the time, for Christmas God gave me the gift of truly feeling that truth. I’m sure if people had looked at me, they might’ve wondered what was wrong to make me cry. Yet nothing was wrong, and everything was absolutely right. It was the perfect start to celebrating the Feast of the Nativity. I hope everyone has as blessed a Christmas.
I think most people, at least most people I encounter, have unreasonable expectations when it comes to their child’s sleep. This then leads to frustration and maybe sleep training (not that parents can’t be frustrated even if they don’t have unreasonable expectations, but knowing something is normal certainly helps for me). I won’t get into my rant on sleep training – suffice it to say I abhor the practice. Instead, I’d like to look at some of the expectations.
Many expect that their children will fall asleep on their own and remain asleep all night, or, if they wake, that they’ll be able to settle themselves. I won’t get into the part about initially falling asleep alone, but would like to look at the expectations with night waking. I can’t help thinking of my own sleeping patterns. Even without a child waking me, I don’t sleep straight through the night. I wake for the toilet, or a drink, or a snack, or because of a bad dream, or because I heard a different noise. So I get up for the toilet, or to get a snack or drink, or to calm myself until I can sleep again. Sometimes I just need to snuggle with my husband. In all these cases, I know what is needed and how to get, and I have the ability to do it.
But can a child under the age of two, let alone one (sleep training is often done with children under these ages), do those things? If my two-year-old gets hungry, she cannot reach the snacks. She cannot refill her water if she already has a cup, or reach the cupboard if she needs a cup. When she needs the toilet in the night, she needs help. Both of my older children get us if they have nightmares or just need the comfort of another person. All of this is normal, so why shouldn’t I expect it and, if they need help, provide help?
Sure, learning to settle themselves is a good skill, and they’ll learn it when they are ready and capable of taking care of those needs on their own. I know this because Kieran is able to do most of these things. He gets his water when he gets thirsty in the night, and goes to the loo on his own. Usually if he wakes and has trouble settling, he’ll just get on the couch, though sometimes he wants to snuggle. He has naturally done these things as he’s become ready, without us forcing it. We didn’t get discouraged, because we knew he needed food or water or the toilet or reassurance and that he wasn’t ready/able to do those things on his own yet. Now he’s quite independent, day and night, but he know we’re there if he needs us. I think us having reasonable expectations and responding to his needs play a large part in that.